








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
756 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,492 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1357 | 39% |
| Smokes | 981 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 467 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 687 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $251,089 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ACK | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | Ben- | 78% | 18 |
| #3 | STEEEEELE | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | CAPTAIN iiNSANO | 41% | 22 |
| #5 | Armeretta | 34% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ACK | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | Ben- | 78% | 18 |
| #3 | STEEEEELE | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | CAPTAIN iiNSANO | 41% | 22 |
| #5 | Armeretta | 34% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Armeretta | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | CAPTAIN iiNSANO | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | STEEEEELE | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Armeretta | 250 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #2 | CAPTAIN iiNSANO | 101 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ben- | 81 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #4 | STEEEEELE | 72 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | ACK | 14 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ACK | +2.77 | 72 | 61 |
| #2 | Armeretta | +1.75 | 73 | 67 |
| #3 | Ben- | +0.24 | 63 | 63 |
| #4 | STEEEEELE | -0.27 | 54 | 65 |
| #5 | CAPTAIN iiNSANO | -1.08 | 61 | 49 |





