








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 827 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 214 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 177 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7337 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,389 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5258 | 42% |
| Smokes | 3882 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 619 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 2630 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,690,236 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 394 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Angela Merkel | 57% | 126 |
| #2 | donatello monster porn | 56% | 72 |
| #3 | arttu | 54% | 56 |
| #4 | Tequilaaaa | 52% | 44 |
| #5 | WAPÈ | 49% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BroudiPeek | 920 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #2 | WAPÈ | 485 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #3 | arttu | 383 | 0.32 | 9 min |
| #4 | Angela Merkel | 220 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | Tequilaaaa | 116 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RatPorn | +2.54 | 83 | 52 |
| #2 | donatello monster porn | +1.98 | 82 | 37 |
| #3 | arttu | +1.43 | 75 | 61 |
| #4 | Angela Merkel | +1.32 | 65 | 61 |
| #5 | DpM | +0.48 | 66 | 56 |





