








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 761 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 300 matches | ||
| Premier | 224 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 118 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5117 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,682 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6015 | 27% |
| Smokes | 7131 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4786 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4750 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,471,270 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 622 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arttu | 48% | 75 |
| #2 | RatPorn | 48% | 380 |
| #3 | Tequilaaaa | 47% | 70 |
| #4 | donatello monster porn | 46% | 111 |
| #5 | WAPÈ | 45% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RatPorn | 1162 | 0.15 | 38 min |
| #2 | arttu | 511 | 0.34 | 10 min |
| #3 | WAPÈ | 356 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #4 | SannaMiauMarin | 243 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | Angela Merkel | 229 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RatPorn | +3.31 | 84 | 51 |
| #2 | donatello monster porn | +1.94 | 83 | 43 |
| #3 | Angela Merkel | +1.75 | 63 | 59 |
| #4 | arttu | +1.49 | 76 | 52 |
| #5 | Tequilaaaa | +0.50 | 56 | 46 |





