








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 756 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 428 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 126 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4319 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,607 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5463 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4620 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2327 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 4197 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,087,345 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 169 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chewie | 58% | 181 |
| #2 | oolongmilktea | 55% | 137 |
| #3 | e | 52% | 86 |
| #4 | Justin | 50% | 259 |
| #5 | kirbie | 49% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chewie | 58% | 181 |
| #2 | oolongmilktea | 55% | 137 |
| #3 | e | 52% | 86 |
| #4 | Justin | 50% | 259 |
| #5 | kirbie | 49% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Justin | 12 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Chewie | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | oolongmilktea | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | e | 4 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Justin | 1330 | 0.25 | 32 min |
| #2 | Chewie | 1090 | 0.29 | 30 min |
| #3 | oolongmilktea | 442 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #4 | e | 419 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #5 | kirbie | 316 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chewie | +1.49 | 65 | 70 |
| #2 | e | +0.85 | 68 | 57 |
| #3 | oolongmilktea | +0.74 | 79 | 60 |
| #4 | milktealeaf | +0.39 | 56 | 58 |
| #5 | Justin | -1.50 | 54 | 58 |





