








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1384 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 337 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5371 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,115 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7902 | 34% |
| Smokes | 6198 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3621 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 5394 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $779,927 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 299 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ludic | 58% | 181 |
| #2 | Taylor-Joy | 51% | 41 |
| #3 | ff | 49% | 88 |
| #4 | ff | 48% | 190 |
| #5 | kirbie | 48% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ludic | 58% | 181 |
| #2 | Taylor-Joy | 51% | 41 |
| #3 | ff | 49% | 88 |
| #4 | ff | 48% | 190 |
| #5 | kirbie | 48% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ludic | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | ff | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | ff | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Taylor-Joy | 4 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ff | 894 | 0.22 | 24 min |
| #2 | Ludic | 658 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #3 | ff | 315 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #4 | Taylor-Joy | 213 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #5 | kirbie | 171 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chewie | +1.52 | 68 | 73 |
| #2 | ff | +1.22 | 82 | 64 |
| #3 | Taylor-Joy | -0.51 | 73 | 65 |
| #4 | Ludic | -0.51 | 56 | 63 |
| #5 | ff | -1.19 | 59 | 65 |





