










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
142 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 361 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 110 | 30% |
| Smokes | 112 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 29 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 110 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $83,702 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Diesel | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | breakout | 40% | 10 |
| #3 | AWPtimus Prime | 38% | 26 |
| #4 | AWPpenheimer | 37% | 27 |
| #5 | Forbid | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Diesel | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | breakout | 40% | 10 |
| #3 | AWPtimus Prime | 38% | 26 |
| #4 | AWPpenheimer | 37% | 27 |
| #5 | Forbid | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AWPtimus Prime | 4 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AWPtimus Prime | 69 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | AWPpenheimer | 61 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Forbid | 16 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #4 | Diesel | 14 | 0.21 | 0 min |
| #5 | breakout | 1 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AWPpenheimer | +3.30 | 69 | 64 |
| #2 | Diesel | -0.16 | 83 | 41 |
| #3 | Forbid | -0.45 | 65 | 77 |
| #4 | Konga | -1.62 | 52 | 34 |
| #5 | AWPtimus Prime | -2.10 | 50 | 41 |





