








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 368 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4010 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,465 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4522 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2856 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3163 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3924 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,264,330 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 978 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zowet | 61% | 33 |
| #2 | Zoiphri | 52% | 153 |
| #3 | Splode | 51% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zowet | 61% | 33 |
| #2 | Zoiphri | 52% | 153 |
| #3 | Splode | 51% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zoiphri | 17 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | zowet | 13 | 0.0194 |
| #3 | Splode | 11 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zoiphri | 685 | 0.21 | 17 min |
| #2 | Splode | 254 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | zowet | 163 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zoiphri | +2.32 | 86 | 69 |
| #2 | Splode | +0.88 | 90 | 60 |
| #3 | ace | +0.70 | 82 | 67 |
| #4 | zowet | -0.11 | 86 | 53 |





