








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 179 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2878 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,055 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2711 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1921 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2255 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2168 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $597,090 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LAZY | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | zowet | 59% | 37 |
| #3 | ace | 52% | 153 |
| #4 | Splode | 49% | 67 |
| #5 | yves | 44% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LAZY | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | zowet | 59% | 37 |
| #3 | ace | 52% | 153 |
| #4 | Splode | 49% | 67 |
| #5 | yves | 44% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ace | 18 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | zowet | 14 | 0.0180 |
| #3 | Splode | 9 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | yves | 4 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ace | 475 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | Splode | 270 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | zowet | 176 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #4 | yves | 146 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | LAZY | 62 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zoiphri | +2.61 | 87 | 70 |
| #2 | yves | +0.55 | 74 | 69 |
| #3 | Splode | +0.31 | 90 | 63 |
| #4 | LAZY | -0.41 | 62 | 49 |
| #5 | zowet | -0.49 | 85 | 54 |





