








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 751 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 583 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5182 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,488 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1837 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3925 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3840 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1886 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,600,897 of utility $271 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 454 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dny | 56% | 41 |
| #2 | ★Tibufax | 48% | 63 |
| #3 | low | 46% | 112 |
| #4 | WindBeutelBaron | 42% | 36 |
| #5 | low | 42% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dny | 56% | 41 |
| #2 | ★Tibufax | 48% | 63 |
| #3 | low | 46% | 112 |
| #4 | WindBeutelBaron | 42% | 36 |
| #5 | low | 42% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | low | 10 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | ★Tibufax | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | low | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | dny | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★Tibufax | 178 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | low | 120 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | dny | 68 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | WindBeutelBaron | 64 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | low | 51 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dny | +0.49 | 42 | 68 |
| #2 | CluTch3R | +0.08 | 74 | 45 |
| #3 | ★Tibufax | -0.09 | 52 | 59 |
| #4 | low | -1.48 | 58 | 55 |
| #5 | low | -1.98 | 36 | 66 |





