








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 210 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 199 matches | ||
| Esplay | 2 matches | 1,647 | |
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2593 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,286 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2070 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2225 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2350 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1641 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $576,125 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 495 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Hallucine | 35% | 23 |
| #11 | ツGeneralenツ | 33% | 52 |
| #12 | HΔL | Lukadz | 31% | 13 |
| #13 | ★Shadow★ | 19% | 21 |
| #14 | Kebabsvarvaren | 18% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝐙𝐘𝐓𝐄𝐗𝐗 | 6 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | ♿ | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Olsson! | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Palmmar | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | ♱MollyMannen♱ | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿ | 158 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | 𝐙𝐘𝐓𝐄𝐗𝐗 | 138 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Olsson! | 76 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Hallucine | 50 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | däff | 45 | 0.13 | 1 min |





