








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1080 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 844 matches | ||
| Wingman | 55 matches | ||
| Esplay | 54 matches | 1,690 | |
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 144 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10098 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,252 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 883 | 10% |
| Smokes | 2384 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1679 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4306 | 47% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,476,522 of utility $256 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 260 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ziiimply | 55% | 128 |
| #2 | Phoenix. | 52% | 183 |
| #3 | LuFFy^^ | 51% | 420 |
| #4 | ★Shadow★ | 50% | 274 |
| #5 | ThaDarkie | 50% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | LuFFy^^ | 51% | 420 |
| #4 | ★Shadow★ | 50% | 274 |
| #5 | ThaDarkie | 50% | 54 |
| #6 | 𝐙𝐘𝐓𝐄𝐗𝐗 | 47% | 422 |
| #7 | Aléa | 33% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LuFFy^^ | 35 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | 𝐙𝐘𝐓𝐄𝐗𝐗 | 22 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Aléa | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | ★Shadow★ | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | ziiimply | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝐙𝐘𝐓𝐄𝐗𝐗 | 1457 | 0.16 | 37 min |
| #2 | LuFFy^^ | 651 | 0.07 | 18 min |
| #3 | ★Shadow★ | 452 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #4 | ThaDarkie | 181 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | Aléa | 125 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ziiimply | +3.68 | 89 | 34 |
| #2 | Phoenix. | +3.14 | 88 | 36 |
| #3 | ThaDarkie | +2.95 | 56 | 75 |
| #4 | Aléa | +0.84 | 75 | 67 |
| #5 | LuFFy^^ | +0.54 | 57 | 56 |





