








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 320 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2038 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,006 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2765 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2397 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2178 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1666 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $718,579 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kingo | 65% | 62 |
| #2 | Ozzy | 63% | 117 |
| #3 | ⚡ | 63% | 16 |
| #4 | 𐂃𐂃 | 53% | 45 |
| #5 | rod | 50% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 𐂃𐂃 | 53% | 45 |
| #5 | rod | 50% | 32 |
| #6 | nicomo | 41% | 17 |
| #7 | Send Fart Pics | 41% | 17 |
| #8 | steage | 19% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ozzy | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | rod | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | steage | 2 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | kingo | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | ⚡ | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ozzy | 160 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #2 | kingo | 82 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | ⚡ | 76 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #4 | rod | 65 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Send Fart Pics | 53 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rod | +4.45 | 78 | 61 |
| #2 | 𐂃𐂃 | +3.80 | 76 | 57 |
| #3 | ⚡ | +3.75 | 85 | 46 |
| #4 | Ozzy | +1.13 | 55 | 56 |
| #5 | 25renecade | +0.53 | 58 | 67 |





