








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 895 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 299 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3456 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,481 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3029 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2569 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2869 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2014 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,088,657 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 590 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gilbert | 50% | 30 |
| #2 | Mustanaamio | 49% | 69 |
| #3 | Osti | 49% | 67 |
| #4 | AnttiTuiskab | 47% | 108 |
| #5 | elmeri | 47% | 168 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AnttiTuiskab | 9 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | bear 5,3 | 9 | 0.0115 |
| #3 | elmeri | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Osti | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Mustanaamio | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AnttiTuiskab | 430 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #2 | elmeri | 333 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #3 | Mustanaamio | 233 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | Osti | 187 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | bear 5,3 | 117 | 0.15 | 2 min |





