








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1479 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 247 matches | ||
| Wingman | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 218 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3854 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,271 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3857 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3313 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2246 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2855 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,476,578 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 137 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | elmeri | 54% | 224 |
| #5 | Araddumello | 51% | 47 |
| #6 | Mustanaamio | 49% | 79 |
| #7 | zinkmake | 47% | 108 |
| #8 | bear 5,3 | 47% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Osti | 16 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | zinkmake | 9 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | bear 5,3 | 7 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | Araddumello | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | elmeri | 3 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | elmeri | 491 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #2 | Osti | 398 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #3 | Mustanaamio | 277 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | zinkmake | 269 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | bear 5,3 | 169 | 0.16 | 4 min |





