








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 73 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
473 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 364 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 194 | 53% |
| Smokes | 140 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 15 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 15 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $71,321 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chff | 43% | 30 |
| #2 | Tommy | 40% | 47 |
| #3 | shizune | 33% | 21 |
| #4 | Moo | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chff | 43% | 30 |
| #2 | Tommy | 40% | 47 |
| #3 | shizune | 33% | 21 |
| #4 | Moo | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tommy | 5 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Chff | 4 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | shizune | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Moo | 1 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chff | 132 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #2 | Tommy | 72 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | shizune | 20 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Moo | 9 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chff | +0.84 | 68 | 51 |
| #2 | Tommy | +0.50 | 44 | 28 |
| #3 | shizune | -0.56 | 58 | 20 |
| #4 | Delicious Empire | -1.10 | 65 | 20 |
| #5 | Moo | -2.29 | 15 | 49 |





