








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 189 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 36 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1043 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,145 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 579 | 27% |
| Smokes | 619 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 389 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 558 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $335,743 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 175 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shizune | 48% | 86 |
| #2 | Chff | 45% | 120 |
| #3 | Delicious Empire | 40% | 47 |
| #4 | Moo | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shizune | 48% | 86 |
| #2 | Chff | 45% | 120 |
| #3 | Delicious Empire | 40% | 47 |
| #4 | Moo | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chff | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | shizune | 8 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Delicious Empire | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Moo | 1 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chff | 420 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | shizune | 64 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | Delicious Empire | 46 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Moo | 14 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shizune | +0.18 | 57 | 21 |
| #2 | Tommy | +0.03 | 43 | 26 |
| #3 | Chff | -0.57 | 69 | 54 |
| #4 | Delicious Empire | -1.82 | 64 | 20 |
| #5 | Moo | -2.82 | 24 | 30 |





