








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 728 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2533 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,497 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1462 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1533 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1127 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1375 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,030,969 of utility $232 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 423 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Le999eND | 62% | 117 |
| #2 | Wooglin | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | plurp | 57% | 91 |
| #4 | Mister Jablome | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | HippoSnuggler | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Wooglin | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | plurp | 57% | 91 |
| #4 | Mister Jablome | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | HippoSnuggler | 53% | 17 |
| #6 | BunnyBrooke | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Le999eND | 15 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | plurp | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | HippoSnuggler | 4 | 0.0120 |
| #4 | Wooglin | 3 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | plurp | 321 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | Le999eND | 271 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | HippoSnuggler | 49 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mister Jablome | 34 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Wooglin | 15 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swante | +3.04 | 89 | 61 |
| #2 | Le999eND | +2.08 | 74 | 61 |
| #3 | plurp | -0.52 | 53 | 57 |
| #4 | HippoSnuggler | -1.46 | 54 | 55 |
| #5 | Mister Jablome | -3.05 | 38 | 49 |





