








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 54 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
765 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,561 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 489 | 31% |
| Smokes | 344 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 400 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 328 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $339,885 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 406 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuggy | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Dynamic | 71% | 17 |
| #3 | Schmunion | 64% | 14 |
| #4 | Taiwanese Chocolate Bar | 57% | 28 |
| #5 | Teknalojia | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuggy | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Dynamic | 71% | 17 |
| #3 | Schmunion | 64% | 14 |
| #4 | Taiwanese Chocolate Bar | 57% | 28 |
| #5 | Teknalojia | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schmunion | 3 | 0.0097 |
| #2 | Nuggy | 1 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taiwanese Chocolate Bar | 30 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #2 | Dynamic | 26 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #3 | Teknalojia | 6 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | Nuggy | 5 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | Schmunion | 4 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuggy | +2.71 | 75 | 56 |
| #2 | Voslaa | +1.75 | 68 | 40 |
| #3 | Schmunion | +1.44 | 52 | 25 |
| #4 | Taiwanese Chocolate Bar | +0.59 | 50 | 30 |
| #5 | Dynamic | -0.23 | 32 | 37 |





