








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 655 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 278 matches | ||
| Wingman | 61 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Renown | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3564 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,540 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2942 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2690 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2622 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3286 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,124,852 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツ | 74% | 31 |
| #2 | ᛤ[GER] PingDingᛤ | 69% | 26 |
| #3 | shroudy rowdy | 56% | 27 |
| #4 | CuzImMenTex | 50% | 38 |
| #5 | Diar | 46% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | shroudy rowdy | 56% | 27 |
| #4 | CuzImMenTex | 50% | 38 |
| #5 | Diar | 46% | 68 |
| #6 | Schmukes ღ | 44% | 27 |
| #7 | Amiri | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Diar | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | CuzImMenTex | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | ツ | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | shroudy rowdy | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Schmukes ღ | 2 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Diar | 98 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | shroudy rowdy | 79 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Schmukes ღ | 59 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | ツ | 57 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | CuzImMenTex | 35 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snipes | +2.92 | 72 | 52 |
| #2 | ᛤ[GER] PingDingᛤ | +2.45 | 54 | 58 |
| #3 | shroudy rowdy | +1.38 | 55 | 56 |
| #4 | ツ | +1.05 | 59 | 52 |
| #5 | CuzImMenTex | +0.93 | 69 | 54 |





