








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 260 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2530 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,353 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4573 | 44% |
| Smokes | 1887 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2110 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1783 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $214,353 of utility $39 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3907 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frog 4 dinner | 61% | 62 |
| #2 | Judah Marshawn Queedis | 60% | 214 |
| #3 | ikswo | 60% | 67 |
| #4 | kennySmiv | 55% | 65 |
| #5 | Pizzapieboy | 54% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ikswo | 60% | 67 |
| #4 | kennySmiv | 55% | 65 |
| #5 | Pizzapieboy | 54% | 96 |
| #6 | my balls large | 44% | 36 |
| #7 | FartMasterWu | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pizzapieboy | 23 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | ikswo | 23 | 0.0172 |
| #3 | Judah Marshawn Queedis | 20 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | frog 4 dinner | 18 | 0.0147 |
| #5 | my balls large | 17 | 0.0244 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Judah Marshawn Queedis | 897 | 0.21 | 25 min |
| #2 | ikswo | 523 | 0.39 | 16 min |
| #3 | kennySmiv | 226 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | Pizzapieboy | 130 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | my balls large | 117 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Judah Marshawn Queedis | +3.87 | 88 | 58 |
| #2 | 76561198208141780 | +1.63 | 78 | 58 |
| #3 | FartMasterWu | +1.57 | 78 | 44 |
| #4 | frog 4 dinner | +1.53 | 73 | 36 |
| #5 | my balls large | +0.93 | 94 | 50 |





