








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 906 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 540 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5261 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,473 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4367 | 19% |
| Smokes | 6972 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 6363 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4771 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,690,457 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 633 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shautra | 46% | 539 |
| #2 | Waginator | 46% | 177 |
| #3 | kevendster | 43% | 269 |
| #4 | haisenburger | 40% | 91 |
| #5 | titler | 38% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | kevendster | 43% | 269 |
| #4 | haisenburger | 40% | 91 |
| #5 | titler | 38% | 32 |
| #6 | osnadizeli | 37% | 123 |
| #7 | picle | 31% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shautra | 57 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Waginator | 15 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | osnadizeli | 11 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | haisenburger | 10 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | kevendster | 5 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shautra | 1220 | 0.11 | 32 min |
| #2 | osnadizeli | 225 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | haisenburger | 221 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | kevendster | 182 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #5 | Waginator | 137 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shautra | +2.83 | 78 | 74 |
| #2 | haisenburger | +1.92 | 56 | 76 |
| #3 | Stele98 | -0.92 | 61 | 71 |
| #4 | picle | -1.35 | 67 | 28 |
| #5 | Waginator | -1.52 | 44 | 49 |





