








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 232 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1517 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,268 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1350 | 32% |
| Smokes | 701 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1262 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 955 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $454,834 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 264 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | allcheatersare10iq | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | PhymosisBirkenau | 70% | 37 |
| #3 | Inarek | 70% | 10 |
| #4 | AmNeXiA | 69% | 32 |
| #5 | maDi | 61% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | maDi | 61% | 49 |
| #6 | Kerani | 55% | 93 |
| #7 | nFR | 55% | 11 |
| #8 | first random | 54% | 57 |
| #9 | Aibona | 50% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kerani | 31 | 0.0189 |
| #2 | PhymosisBirkenau | 14 | 0.0201 |
| #3 | Aibona | 11 | 0.0097 |
| #4 | allcheatersare10iq | 5 | 0.0266 |
| #5 | maDi | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kerani | 258 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | maDi | 127 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Aibona | 93 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | PhymosisBirkenau | 90 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | AmNeXiA | 53 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nFR | +5.78 | 76 | 76 |
| #2 | allcheatersare10iq | +4.24 | 72 | 74 |
| #3 | Lou le petit caillou | +3.55 | 80 | 59 |
| #4 | Inarek | +2.83 | 83 | 51 |
| #5 | PhymosisBirkenau | +2.66 | 69 | 59 |





