








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 319 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Esplay | 11 matches | 2,331 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
717 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,296 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 236 | 18% |
| Smokes | 422 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 275 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 363 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $244,088 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L1ND | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | rotte kongen cs.money | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | doku | 71% | 21 |
| #4 | Gejl | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | RIKARDT | 67% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rotte kongen cs.money | 2 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | doku | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | tapzzzz- | 1 | 0.0135 |
| #4 | RIKARDT | 1 | 0.0137 |
| #5 | Gejl | 1 | 0.0161 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doku | 53 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #2 | rotte kongen cs.money | 38 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #3 | L1ND | 21 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #4 | ☭ Min ☭ | 13 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #5 | RIKARDT | 12 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | redeye | +5.03 | 91 | 63 |
| #2 | noike | +2.79 | 92 | 51 |
| #3 | deep | +2.38 | 71 | 78 |
| #4 | L1ND | +2.24 | 85 | 75 |
| #5 | doku | +1.29 | 85 | 71 |





