








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1417 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 905 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 142 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




78 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8088 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 63,718 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 22411 | 35% |
| Smokes | 16932 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 15615 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 8760 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,340,637 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 725 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Greg | 52% | 217 |
| #2 | bicho | 48% | 61 |
| #3 | bob© | 46% | 289 |
| #4 | safari | 46% | 103 |
| #5 | Rookie | 44% | 393 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Greg | 52% | 217 |
| #2 | bicho | 48% | 61 |
| #3 | bob© | 46% | 289 |
| #4 | safari | 46% | 103 |
| #5 | Rookie | 44% | 393 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bob© | 27 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Rookie | 22 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | safari | 10 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | Greg | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | bicho | 5 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rookie | 657 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #2 | bob© | 369 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #3 | Greg | 283 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #4 | safari | 178 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | bicho | 52 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | safari | +4.34 | 86 | 52 |
| #2 | Greg | +3.15 | 74 | 43 |
| #3 | Starboomer | +0.17 | 57 | 78 |
| #4 | bicho | -0.91 | 33 | 50 |
| #5 | Rookie | -1.49 | 54 | 56 |





