








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 465 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Faceit | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2740 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,071 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2866 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2488 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2914 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2803 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $618,731 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 748 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beastmaster64 | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | Jon snou | 58% | 26 |
| #3 | žába | 53% | 173 |
| #4 | メクル Mecru メクル | 52% | 170 |
| #5 | Luccifo | 49% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | メクル Mecru メクル | 52% | 170 |
| #5 | Luccifo | 49% | 35 |
| #6 | LAGGY^K1NG | 47% | 17 |
| #7 | 𝒟ž𝑜𝓋𝒶𝓃𝓃𝒾 | 42% | 52 |
| #8 | Sasquatch | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | メクル Mecru メクル | 10 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | žába | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | LAGGY^K1NG | 3 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | 𝒟ž𝑜𝓋𝒶𝓃𝓃𝒾 | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Luccifo | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | メクル Mecru メクル | 639 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #2 | žába | 207 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | 𝒟ž𝑜𝓋𝒶𝓃𝓃𝒾 | 204 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | Jon snou | 97 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | LAGGY^K1NG | 45 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | メクル Mecru メクル | +4.04 | 72 | 65 |
| #2 | Jon snou | +3.51 | 84 | 65 |
| #3 | beastmaster64 | +1.23 | 83 | 50 |
| #4 | Mišo_Chorý | -1.16 | 60 | 65 |
| #5 | žába | -1.17 | 52 | 60 |





