








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 271 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2206 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,117 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 94 | 4% |
| Smokes | 546 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 254 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1223 | 58% |
Our logs show you have wasted $526,456 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 329 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shlikay | 57% | 81 |
| #2 | gzporta | 55% | 69 |
| #3 | PapaJuice | 54% | 35 |
| #4 | Black Jesus | 46% | 97 |
| #5 | Ripziez | 46% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Black Jesus | 46% | 97 |
| #5 | Ripziez | 46% | 79 |
| #6 | PurpleStark | 38% | 45 |
| #7 | JCN=Bandit¹ | 35% | 23 |
| #8 | Khan™ | 33% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gzporta | 15 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | Black Jesus | 13 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | Ripziez | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Khan™ | 4 | 0.0094 |
| #5 | PapaJuice | 3 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Black Jesus | 92 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #2 | Ripziez | 73 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | gzporta | 58 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Shlikay | 47 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Khan™ | 33 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wohn Jick | +5.40 | 72 | 20 |
| #2 | Khan™ | +1.80 | 67 | 58 |
| #3 | gzporta | +1.08 | 59 | 46 |
| #4 | Ripziez | +0.34 | 39 | 43 |
| #5 | JCN=Bandit¹ | -3.28 | 45 | 22 |





