








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 236 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
768 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,267 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 540 | 17% |
| Smokes | 834 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1067 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 826 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $236,679 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 193 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | NXLO | 50% | 6 |
| #7 | vee SILE | 50% | 6 |
| #8 | tomspon | 46% | 13 |
| #9 | Wildu | 45% | 11 |
| #10 | LoneX | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jobbi$ | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Wildu | 1 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | NXLO | 1 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Erkki | +2.57 | 89 | 68 |
| #2 | :) | +0.90 | 85 | 67 |
| #3 | nikke | +0.57 | 66 | 51 |
| #4 | Jobbi$ | +0.35 | 83 | 70 |
| #5 | NXLO | +0.18 | 77 | 53 |





