










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 260 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 344 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3137 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,855 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3847 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2411 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1296 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 2301 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,143,693 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tundraINDUCTEEtallhurdle13 | 52% | 54 |
| #2 | LongNeckTurtle | 50% | 62 |
| #3 | Isn't 2 inches average? | 48% | 31 |
| #4 | Bucko-Fire | 41% | 32 |
| #5 | OxyContin | 35% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tundraINDUCTEEtallhurdle13 | 8 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | OxyContin | 5 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | Bucko-Fire | 4 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | Isn't 2 inches average? | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | LongNeckTurtle | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LongNeckTurtle | 162 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | tundraINDUCTEEtallhurdle13 | 134 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Bucko-Fire | 75 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | OxyContin | 48 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Isn't 2 inches average? | 33 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LongNeckTurtle | +4.39 | 82 | 63 |
| #2 | tundraINDUCTEEtallhurdle13 | +2.40 | 50 | 42 |
| #3 | Bucko-Fire | +1.05 | 55 | 59 |
| #4 | Isn't 2 inches average? | -0.25 | 37 | 41 |
| #5 | OxyContin | -0.77 | 30 | 44 |





