








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 248 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1432 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,585 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1338 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1576 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1313 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1358 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,104,997 of utility $280 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 346 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _Y3rB1s_ | 50% | 10 |
| #2 | Apothecarious | 48% | 27 |
| #3 | Kratos the potato | 45% | 11 |
| #4 | Slavie2K ☭ | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | LongNeckTurtle | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toaster | 11 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | Lazermonkey | 7 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | StateFarm | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Apothecarious | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | milk | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StateFarm | 137 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #2 | Toaster | 131 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Apothecarious | 123 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | Lazermonkey | 82 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | milk | 68 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MohNoh | +4.05 | 84 | 66 |
| #2 | _Y3rB1s_ | +4.02 | 72 | 64 |
| #3 | MoonSlayer | +2.78 | 68 | 78 |
| #4 | LongNeckTurtle | +2.34 | 80 | 62 |
| #5 | IFYA Asterisk | +2.05 | 76 | 48 |





