








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 559 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 338 matches | ||
| Wingman | 67 matches | ||
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




104 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5394 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,616 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3567 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2247 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2919 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1883 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,656,584 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 442 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mechanic | 59% | 37 |
| #2 | Virtennn | 56% | 90 |
| #3 | Nostracooper | 55% | 51 |
| #4 | Bebrė | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | Zathy | 49% | 234 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zathy | 25 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Kruzbär | 13 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | Virtennn | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Mechanic | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Nostracooper | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zathy | 666 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #2 | Kruzbär | 207 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Nostracooper | 138 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Mechanic | 94 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Virtennn | 38 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zathy | +1.63 | 59 | 69 |
| #2 | Virtennn | +1.59 | 63 | 26 |
| #3 | Mechanic | +1.15 | 72 | 59 |
| #4 | Rytis | +0.69 | 72 | 50 |
| #5 | Kruzbär | -0.64 | 57 | 58 |





