








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 919 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 321 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 86 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4408 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,012 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5681 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5101 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4837 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3393 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,006,165 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 780 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flandeerz | 51% | 53 |
| #2 | Kruzbär | 49% | 195 |
| #3 | Rytis | 49% | 234 |
| #4 | Lakrizz | 47% | 34 |
| #5 | ❤Taze❤ | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rytis | 42 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | Kruzbär | 35 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | Lakrizz | 6 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | ❤Taze❤ | 5 | 0.0098 |
| #5 | Flandeerz | 3 | 0.0030 |





