








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
188 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 543 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 72 | 13% |
| Smokes | 113 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 219 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 139 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $75,705 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jUHIS | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | Dlinkki | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | jS^ | 71% | 14 |
| #4 | nAric | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | johNson | 67% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | johNson | 67% | 6 |
| #6 | joni | 62% | 26 |
| #7 | minigrip | 57% | 7 |
| #8 | yngRebelll フィラ:^) | 43% | 7 |
| #9 | Repsaツ | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joni | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joni | 80 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | johNson | 50 | 0.40 | 1 min |
| #3 | jUHIS | 42 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | jS^ | 18 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | nAric | 18 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jUHIS | +5.83 | 96 | 65 |
| #2 | joni | +3.18 | 86 | 72 |
| #3 | jS^ | +2.74 | 89 | 58 |
| #4 | Repsaツ | +1.83 | 89 | 63 |
| #5 | Dlinkki | +0.64 | 70 | 56 |





