








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
131 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 752 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 137 | 18% |
| Smokes | 274 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 181 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 160 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $56,179 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marcelismyname | 33% | 12 |
| #2 | KM | 28% | 18 |
| #3 | Kwota | 25% | 16 |
| #4 | Emexis666 | 18% | 11 |
| #5 | Papa Vesemir | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marcelismyname | 33% | 12 |
| #2 | KM | 28% | 18 |
| #3 | Kwota | 25% | 16 |
| #4 | Emexis666 | 18% | 11 |
| #5 | Papa Vesemir | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marcelismyname | 5 | 0.0207 |
| #2 | Emexis666 | 2 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | KM | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Kwota | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Papa Vesemir | 1 | 0.0192 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kwota | 77 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #2 | Emexis666 | 39 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | marcelismyname | 33 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | KM | 14 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marcelismyname | +3.79 | 67 | 63 |
| #2 | Emexis666 | +3.67 | 56 | 68 |
| #3 | KM | +1.96 | 66 | 42 |
| #4 | Kwota | -2.70 | 42 | 65 |
| #5 | pawronix | -4.46 | 25 | 51 |





