








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 477 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 385 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 116 matches | ||
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8760 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,261 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3401 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4128 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3893 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3839 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,120,646 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 335 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qRi | 780 | 0.09 | 20 min |
| #2 | ;;;;; | 336 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | meteora. | 326 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| #4 | 67 | 247 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Stiass | 207 | 0.09 | 5 min |





