








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 220 matches | ||
| Wingman | 55 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2721 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,201 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1158 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1340 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1795 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1908 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $763,537 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mack | 53% | 203 |
| #2 | bigot. | 50% | 58 |
| #3 | beastazn- | 50% | 109 |
| #4 | thr0ne | 49% | 103 |
| #5 | Serp | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thr0ne | 13 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Mack | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | bigot. | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Edward hot sauce hands | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | beastazn- | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mack | +2.53 | 75 | 69 |
| #2 | Lobro90 | +0.70 | 65 | 48 |
| #3 | bigot. | +0.29 | 79 | 51 |
| #4 | Serp | +0.18 | 60 | 71 |
| #5 | Edward hot sauce hands | -0.01 | 66 | 33 |





