








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 295 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1481 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,787 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1297 | 34% |
| Smokes | 761 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 705 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1024 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $199,134 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 229 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | thekingrenz | 71% | 7 |
| #13 | WasteOfAmmo | 71% | 28 |
| #14 | sing genah kon | 65% | 20 |
| #15 | copiN | 64% | 14 |
| #16 | M | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WasteOfAmmo | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | neorah | 3 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | sing genah kon | 3 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | MiHawk | 3 | 0.0094 |
| #5 | 🎃 | 3 | 0.0116 |





