








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 442 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 293 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5077 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,356 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6447 | 39% |
| Smokes | 3114 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3649 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3146 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,035,808 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 350 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mcdubs | 58% | 55 |
| #2 | i go first | 56% | 48 |
| #3 | KraftsWCB | 51% | 39 |
| #4 | BoeZaah | 50% | 267 |
| #5 | Willma Dickfit | 49% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | i go first | 56% | 48 |
| #3 | KraftsWCB | 51% | 39 |
| #4 | BoeZaah | 50% | 267 |
| #5 | Willma Dickfit | 49% | 91 |
| #6 | Joe Dirté | 49% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BoeZaah | 23 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Mcdubs | 7 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | KraftsWCB | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | i go first | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Joe Dirté | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BoeZaah | 458 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | KraftsWCB | 157 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | Joe Dirté | 121 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | i go first | 110 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Willma Dickfit | 92 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BoeZaah | +1.52 | 81 | 52 |
| #2 | s | +0.87 | 67 | 61 |
| #3 | KraftsWCB | -0.11 | 65 | 58 |
| #4 | Mcdubs | -0.18 | 61 | 53 |
| #5 | i go first | -0.53 | 64 | 68 |





