








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 104 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
483 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,727 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 348 | 20% |
| Smokes | 365 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 527 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 487 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $261,247 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Willma Dickfit | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | KraftsWCB | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | s | 58% | 55 |
| #4 | BoeZaah | 57% | 44 |
| #5 | Joe Dirté | 57% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | KraftsWCB | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | s | 58% | 55 |
| #4 | BoeZaah | 57% | 44 |
| #5 | Joe Dirté | 57% | 23 |
| #6 | i go first | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s | 8 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | BoeZaah | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | KraftsWCB | 3 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | i go first | 1 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s | 169 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | KraftsWCB | 93 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #3 | BoeZaah | 66 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Joe Dirté | 27 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | i go first | 20 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BoeZaah | +1.46 | 82 | 54 |
| #2 | KraftsWCB | +1.37 | 72 | 59 |
| #3 | s | +0.93 | 61 | 62 |
| #4 | Mcdubs | -0.51 | 58 | 53 |
| #5 | i go first | -2.35 | 57 | 65 |





