










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 349 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 73 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




91 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5806 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,975 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6414 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4298 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3435 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4828 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,652,369 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Jelly | 47% | 183 |
| #8 | Depressed Nousagi | 44% | 39 |
| #9 | ɪ ᴄʟɪᴄᴋ ʜᴇᴀᴅꜱ | 41% | 158 |
| #10 | Kani is my favorite pet | 39% | 122 |
| #11 | 𝓣𝓸𝓵𝔃𝓪 | 38% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ɪ ᴄʟɪᴄᴋ ʜᴇᴀᴅꜱ | 46 | 0.0141 |
| #2 | Kani is my favorite pet | 25 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | 𝓣𝓸𝓵𝔃𝓪 | 19 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | ブロケン | 17 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Depressed Nousagi | 14 | 0.0165 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ɪ ᴄʟɪᴄᴋ ʜᴇᴀᴅꜱ | 847 | 0.26 | 21 min |
| #2 | Kani is my favorite pet | 842 | 0.33 | 19 min |
| #3 | ブロケン | 662 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #4 | 𝓣𝓸𝓵𝔃𝓪 | 602 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #5 | Freef | 498 | 0.10 | 12 min |





