








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 252 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1017 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,661 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1281 | 35% |
| Smokes | 871 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 714 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 795 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $385,336 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 272 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grim シ | 79% | 28 |
| #2 | Cookies | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | ✪ Smovey | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | ApoN | 64% | 44 |
| #5 | Rooda | 59% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ApoN | 64% | 44 |
| #5 | Rooda | 59% | 22 |
| #6 | Blender | 58% | 96 |
| #7 | b4ze | 56% | 39 |
| #8 | Hobusa | 56% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blender | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Hobusa | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Grim シ | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | b4ze | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blender | 312 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | b4ze | 144 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Hobusa | 137 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | ApoN | 119 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Grim シ | 92 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grim シ | +9.56 | 94 | 73 |
| #2 | b4ze | +2.75 | 86 | 74 |
| #3 | Rooda | +2.30 | 80 | 73 |
| #4 | Blender | +0.80 | 81 | 59 |
| #5 | ✪ Smovey | +0.74 | 67 | 63 |





