








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1080 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3683 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,577 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3868 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1855 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2485 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2369 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $706,224 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 561 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s1mple with a p1mple | 94% | 16 |
| #2 | Tribesman | 86% | 22 |
| #3 | sourdough | 76% | 37 |
| #4 | vjaK | 70% | 91 |
| #5 | Yabuko347 | 60% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vjaK | 348 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | dev1ce | 219 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Yabuko347 | 163 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | sourdough | 157 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | ♡ | 66 | 0.15 | 1 min |





