








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
955 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,108 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 641 | 21% |
| Smokes | 726 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1116 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 625 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $648,364 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 94 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RandyFan56 | 51% | 59 |
| #2 | brdmanjr | 50% | 72 |
| #3 | Max Payne #Ballin | 42% | 59 |
| #4 | komcy | 41% | 58 |
| #5 | chunk | 38% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RandyFan56 | 51% | 59 |
| #2 | brdmanjr | 50% | 72 |
| #3 | Max Payne #Ballin | 42% | 59 |
| #4 | komcy | 41% | 58 |
| #5 | chunk | 38% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brdmanjr | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Max Payne #Ballin | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | chunk | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | komcy | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chunk | 359 | 0.27 | 11 min |
| #2 | brdmanjr | 309 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | Max Payne #Ballin | 108 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | RandyFan56 | 96 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | komcy | 95 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brdmanjr | +5.05 | 89 | 66 |
| #2 | chunk | +2.13 | 58 | 70 |
| #3 | Max Payne #Ballin | +0.47 | 54 | 55 |
| #4 | RandyFan56 | -1.49 | 68 | 52 |
| #5 | Lividity | -2.79 | 53 | 45 |





