








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 72 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
660 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,508 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 549 | 36% |
| Smokes | 344 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 221 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 394 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $117,724 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOB IDK LOL | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | eREKTion | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | FQX | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | i like ur mother backside lol | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | i woohoo ur mother | 67% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | FQX | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | i like ur mother backside lol | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | i woohoo ur mother | 67% | 9 |
| #6 | anon_is_anonymus | 55% | 31 |
| #7 | NyxGlade | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NyxGlade | 3 | 0.0248 |
| #2 | anon_is_anonymus | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | i woohoo ur mother | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anon_is_anonymus | 81 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | NyxGlade | 36 | 0.30 | 1 min |
| #3 | BOB IDK LOL | 30 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | FQX | 19 | 0.24 | 0 min |
| #5 | i like ur mother backside lol | 16 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOB IDK LOL | +1.74 | 78 | 56 |
| #2 | anon_is_anonymus | +1.20 | 82 | 49 |
| #3 | GIGA NEGA | +1.06 | 85 | 54 |
| #4 | eREKTion | -0.54 | 84 | 75 |
| #5 | NyxGlade | -0.71 | 60 | 75 |





