








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 25 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
476 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,050 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1057 | 35% |
| Smokes | 499 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 877 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 617 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $119,017 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lima Bean | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | ShotDead☁ | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | SLYcam | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | N | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | gengar | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | N | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | gengar | 50% | 6 |
| #6 | Jay☁ | 43% | 7 |
| #7 | ⚡Wattzon⚡ | 40% | 15 |
| #8 | Cyclops10810 | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lima Bean | 2 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | SLYcam | 2 | 0.0244 |
| #3 | ⚡Wattzon⚡ | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚡Wattzon⚡ | 39 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | Lima Bean | 37 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | Cyclops10810 | 16 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #4 | SLYcam | 15 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #5 | Jay☁ | 11 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SLYcam | +10.02 | 96 | 57 |
| #2 | Jay☁ | +2.81 | 55 | 52 |
| #3 | N | +2.45 | 81 | 34 |
| #4 | gengar | +0.84 | 69 | 53 |
| #5 | Velocity9 | +0.67 | 52 | 80 |





