








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 731 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1713 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,629 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 621 | 17% |
| Smokes | 976 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 883 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1149 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $467,384 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 204 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SLYcam | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | ุCovid Karen | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | Cyclops10810 | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | ⚡Wattzon⚡ | 51% | 43 |
| #5 | Lima Bean | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SLYcam | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | ุCovid Karen | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | Cyclops10810 | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | ⚡Wattzon⚡ | 51% | 43 |
| #5 | Lima Bean | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SLYcam | 3 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | ⚡Wattzon⚡ | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Cyclops10810 | 2 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚡Wattzon⚡ | 124 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | SLYcam | 65 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | Lima Bean | 59 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Cyclops10810 | 57 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | ุCovid Karen | 40 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SLYcam | +5.44 | 88 | 48 |
| #2 | gengar | +3.31 | 87 | 48 |
| #3 | Cyclops10810 | +0.93 | 80 | 51 |
| #4 | ุCovid Karen | +0.56 | 83 | 52 |
| #5 | Lima Bean | -0.05 | 68 | 67 |





