








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 118 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1019 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,225 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1515 | 36% |
| Smokes | 771 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1170 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 769 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $254,184 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arska | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Rake | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | Kuskinen | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | axelol | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | Golf-Daddy | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ RamTur ♥ | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | tuhmens | 2 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | axelol | 1 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ville1 | 145 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | ♥ RamTur ♥ | 76 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | Rake | 28 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Kuskinen | 25 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Arska | 21 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rake | +4.15 | 63 | 66 |
| #2 | ville1 | +2.78 | 79 | 85 |
| #3 | axelol | +2.03 | 83 | 59 |
| #4 | Arska | +1.42 | 88 | 66 |
| #5 | ♥ RamTur ♥ | +0.97 | 79 | 61 |





