








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 367 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 196 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3217 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,614 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5217 | 38% |
| Smokes | 2500 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3447 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2450 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $321,348 of utility $35 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 559 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bertige | 50% | 214 |
| #2 | JC Grab | 49% | 243 |
| #3 | Austian0 | 46% | 325 |
| #4 | Xira | 44% | 90 |
| #5 | edward precum | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Austian0 | 46 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | Bertige | 25 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | Xira | 15 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | JC Grab | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Major Mike Hunt-Hurtz | 9 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Austian0 | 1534 | 0.22 | 41 min |
| #2 | JC Grab | 873 | 0.17 | 20 min |
| #3 | Xira | 392 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #4 | Bertige | 328 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | Major Mike Hunt-Hurtz | 111 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bertige | +5.01 | 86 | 54 |
| #2 | Xira | +2.17 | 82 | 58 |
| #3 | Austian0 | -0.18 | 70 | 68 |
| #4 | edward precum | -0.28 | 63 | 20 |
| #5 | JC Grab | -1.24 | 63 | 59 |





