








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 381 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 275 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3268 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,495 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4093 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3751 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3062 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3589 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $856,232 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 535 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tava a lagar mas isso foi ontem | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | C4str0 | 49% | 306 |
| #3 | Marroquino | 47% | 225 |
| #4 | Mosky | 44% | 41 |
| #5 | CallMe_Dice | 40% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tava a lagar mas isso foi ontem | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | C4str0 | 49% | 306 |
| #3 | Marroquino | 47% | 225 |
| #4 | Mosky | 44% | 41 |
| #5 | CallMe_Dice | 40% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marroquino | 12 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | C4str0 | 9 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | CallMe_Dice | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marroquino | 593 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #2 | Mosky | 204 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #3 | CallMe_Dice | 133 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | C4str0 | 130 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| #5 | tava a lagar mas isso foi ontem | 93 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mAYONISY | +2.05 | 66 | 65 |
| #2 | tava a lagar mas isso foi ontem | +1.97 | 74 | 59 |
| #3 | CallMe_Dice | +0.94 | 67 | 55 |
| #4 | Mosky | -0.02 | 76 | 60 |
| #5 | C4str0 | -0.51 | 50 | 44 |





