








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 168 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 278 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3447 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,628 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2362 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3293 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1764 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2209 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,107,478 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 154 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ₊˚⊹♡C | 50% | 139 |
| #2 | sn0w_Le0pard | 50% | 66 |
| #3 | Foreskin Harvester | 48% | 133 |
| #4 | tyche | 46% | 70 |
| #5 | T7 lilstewin | 45% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Foreskin Harvester | 27 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | Chase88 | 22 | 0.0135 |
| #3 | tyche | 17 | 0.0113 |
| #4 | ₊˚⊹♡C | 15 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | T7 lilstewin | 4 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tyche | 539 | 0.36 | 14 min |
| #2 | ₊˚⊹♡C | 439 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | Foreskin Harvester | 422 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #4 | Chase88 | 111 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | T7 lilstewin | 100 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T7 lilstewin | +3.86 | 83 | 53 |
| #2 | tyche | +3.17 | 73 | 63 |
| #3 | Chase88 | +1.46 | 64 | 52 |
| #4 | T7 b0lt | +1.07 | 71 | 53 |
| #5 | Foreskin Harvester | +0.92 | 65 | 52 |





