








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 166 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 81 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
840 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,290 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 912 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1341 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 883 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1154 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $152,741 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meiztR | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | Luckysh♿t | 58% | 38 |
| #3 | Sebbby | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | Daedric13 | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | S0mple | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Daedric13 | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | S0mple | 50% | 6 |
| #6 | Hangru Pikler | 50% | 14 |
| #7 | kaser | 47% | 43 |
| #8 | koppeN ✝ | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaser | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Luckysh♿t | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luckysh♿t | 132 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | kaser | 111 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Sebbby | 56 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #4 | Daedric13 | 53 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Hangru Pikler | 44 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S0mple | +2.86 | 70 | 64 |
| #2 | koppeN ✝ | +1.67 | 68 | 67 |
| #3 | meiztR | +1.09 | 81 | 61 |
| #4 | Daedric13 | +0.36 | 84 | 62 |
| #5 | Hangru Pikler | +0.19 | 81 | 73 |





